New Attitude

If you don't want to hear a blog about my self discovery and how I am going to change it, please don't keep reading.

I have noticed, and been told by my husband, that I have been Negative Nancy in the past couple of months. I especially noticed it this past week. I have had so many happy things happen to me lately that you would think I would be in a stellar mood. Unfortunately, this is not the case. I have allowed the negative things take over my life. That is certainly not my personality and I know my mother would be shaking her head. Usually I am "PollyAnna" with a great attitude about life. Instead I have allowed, cancer, work stress, and just a depressed state to over take my mind. I could tell you about all of my stress at work but that would just be complaining and I don't want to complain. Trust me when I say that I have done this to my friends and co-workers enough. I have one or two friends- plus Jim- who have listened to me complain about everything in the past week (and more than that, I am sure) ! So to them, I say I am very sorry.

I say no more! With this new wonderful understanding of how I have been, I want to change it. My sister in law told me to try to understand that what I have been through has not been easy and that I should understand that my moods are somewhat understandable. However, when my mother died, I promised myself that I would not allow that tragedy to take over. I can't allow any tragedy to take over. I can be sad for a short while and then it is time to lift my head up with the grace of an adult (not the grief of a child) and find my motivation and strength from God. That's certainly what I did in November/December of 2007 and it is certainly what I need to do now. Plus, what do I have to be sad or frustrated about. Here is a list of things that I am praising God about. They are in no certain order.....
1. Jim is in remission from cancer!!!!!!! I could shout it from the roof tops!!!
2. I just received tenure from Williamson County Schools.
3. I just turned 26 and I am on my way to becoming a much healthier person. I have recently lost 11 pounds in an effort to get myself healthy and I am still on that track.
4. I have a wonderful husband that is my very best friend.
5. My dad is happily married to Pam (who I like very much!). I know that this is something I should be VERY grateful about because I know that he is being taken care of.
6. I have fabulous friends and co-workers (who I consider friends). They listen to me and build me up when I am down. Special shout-out to Hannah, Deborah, Kelli, Amy, and Alyson for putting up with my complaining.
7. My boss respects me as a teacher and we have a good relationship due to the fact that he was once my teacher. He gives me very good advice about my future.
8. My brother and sister in law, Melinda, are my rocks. (Besides Jim of course) They have been there for me when I have been in the dumps (when Jim was going through cancer, or when mom died) and I know that that will never change. I am very thankful that they live so close by.
9. Even though my job is tough at times and sometimes I feel like it changes so much all the time, I know that it is a blessing. Being able to touch the lives of children is a gift and I get to do it each and every day. I really need to rethink my attitude at school.
10. My dog thinks that I hung the moon. This in itself is wonderful.
11. This seems weird but.... One of Jim and I's best friends are expecting a baby in August. I can't explain my happiness for them. They deserve the best and I can't wait to meet and spoil their little girl!
12. Jim and I are finacially stable. Our only debt is our house and I do have to say that it is a pretty nice one.
13. I am fortunate to be able to take classes for my masters. As of right now, I am halfway to achieving it. M.Ed. in Administration and Supervision..... HERE I COME!!

I could go on and on about the wonderful things and people in my life and I am sure I have left important ones out. As anyone can see though, I have NOTHING to complain about. I understand that people don't want to be around complainers and I want every one to know that I am making a concious effort to not be that person any more. I know that I will still have a bad day or two but starting a new day needs to be my new beginning.

I have made my list so that I can refer back to it if I ever feel that I am getting back into this rut. I hope that my friends/family are reading this so that if I do get to this awful spot again, they can remind me of all the great things in my life. It is Jim and I's plan to try to start having children in the next two years and I certainly don't want to be a negative mommy. I will never forget the wonderful days I spent with my mom. She had a wonderful attitude most of the time and I guess that's where I get (got) it from.

Sorry if this post bored you.... (HA! look at me assuming that people might actually read this!)
I needed to put my thoughts into writing. I hope that my friends that have stayed with me will continue to do so as I go through this journey of re-learning my personality. Thanks to all that have helped me through this very difficult year. I would have drowned without you. I do feel like I was barely hanging on.


Phl 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.